What is more frightening...death itself or the actual dying bit?

Question

What is more frightening...death itself or the actual dying bit?

Answer

Everyone has their own phobias when it comes to dying. Many are scared because they fear what might seriously lay beyond. Others fear the physical pain that might accompany death. But what could be more frightening than the pain that is felt by those that are left behind? To me that is what I fear most.brbrIm afraid you will all find me a little phobic by the time you finish reading this answer. But here goes.....brbrAfter losing my mother, my grandmother, my uncle and my very best friend in the entire world all within a few years of each other, the reality that my death could come at anytime truly hit. Its funny how you try to predict what will take you......and those of you that know me know my joke about how I will be here until until Im . But you seriously never know. I look at the effects that my friends death had on her children. She prepared them for her death the best she could, yet it still wasnt easy. How could it be?? The effects of her death have affected me in ways that have altered me forever. The irony was.....she was almost all I had to cling onto after my mothers death. My moms death affected me in ways which will never allow me to be myself again. This is why I fear death. Im so scared that it will leave my kids floundering. Always questioning? Always wondering who to turn to to ask things when there is supposed to be that motherly figure. I dont want them to hurt. I dont want my friends that need me to feel abandoned. Lost. I cant bare the thought of anyone crying or being sad or hurting because of me. It seriously frightens the beejeezus out of me. ok that might be a good thing!brbrSo I talk to my kids about my feelings when my mom died. I just go ahead and tell them how it left me empty. I try to make it sound normal. I talk about who I turned to and how. They ask questions......I answer them. I kiss them goodnight a little longer than I used to. I get everything all set and layed out for the next day. I mark everything off my to do list. And I then go to bed and hope that I get another day. But the fear comes from knowing......youre not just missing out on life when you die. You just might be taking other lives with you if they arent able to emotionally cope with your passing.